Monday, May 9, 2011

The Munich Eunuchs

Today i was awoken by a couple teamates at my door to go on a trip I didn't remember agreeing to during our night of debauchery in our celebration of our first victory. It was 11 am and Jack and I remember going to sleep just a few hours ago. I was a lot more sore than expected from the one half of the game i played in and jack was feeling about the same. Who looked worse this morning is up for debate, me or jack, but what i can tell you is that bavarians do not get hangovers. But i think their secret is to drink a beer every hour on the hour, every day, 24/7, 365 lol. But we were off to Munich to watch a GFL 1 game between the platling Blackhawks and the munich cowboys.

The trains incentives passenger to travel in groups by making the price of a one passenger ticket the same price for 5 passengers to ride on one ticket. Three of the 6 players were take this train every Sunday to get back to Munich for school. For this reason, the fact that many players are school students, we only have practice 2 days a week on Tuesday's and Fridays so it can be manageable for the players to balance school and football. But the train ride was absolute tourture for me being more hungover and sleep deprived than some of the more epic performances I had in my college career.

After going the distance i bolted from the train to find the biggest bottle of water money could buy, and guzzled it along with my brunch  with the guys. We had brunch at a kabob place and let me tell you it  was just what the doctor ordered. we then took another train to Munich college.

The game was in Munich colleges stadium which was extremely well kept and funded. The level of player speed of play was much slower than i had previously expected. I would compare it to a low level d3 in terms of the speed, skill, And complexity of play calling. I actually have no doubt in my mind that my team has the aility to beat either team.

Jack and i were both in jeans on this hot day,dehydrated, hungover,  and saw the worst in anything and everything to bitch bout with one another. We said things like, " you know what would be a great idea do do after a night and morning of drinking? Sitting and watching a game in no shade, wearning jeans, and having to pay 3.5 euros for a .5 liter of water" lol. The game was enjoyable though and I was glad we sacked up and went out and explored  Munich. Even though for a few of those hours i swear I felt like i was at the gates of hell lol. Jack and I plan ongoing back there more often and preferably on days when we are not hungover. After the game we said our goodbyes to our buddies staying in muniche and got back on the train to head home to Kirchdorf.

-Eric

Braunau and my quest for the perfect leiderhoisen

Last week Jack, coach Bonds, and I decided to take a trip into Braunau after our morning lift and feast at the lokschuppen. We biked into town and checked a couple places for ice cream, miscellaneous things, and above all else exploring the town. The town is about a 15 min bike ride from the hotel and a five minute ride from the lokshoppen and gym.

One notable place we went to was the house Adolf Hitler grew up in. Outside there is a large rock that says something along the lines of "may we never forget our awful decision to follow a dirtbag like Hitler again, or be apart of the greatest genocide in the history of the human race". I agree with their statement. I also had a few pictures snapped outside of hitlers house giving the thumbs down, a suck it sign, while cautiously being aware of who was watching etc. But come on. If you had the chance to do so too and no one saw, wouldn't you? I mean that guys name is synonymous with Satan and definitely wins the asshole of the millennium award for being such a turd mongering scumlord. And what was up with that mustache? Gross!

Anyway, we saw some guys slap boxing the bejesus out of one another at a food stand for like 10 min so that was cool I guess. We also took some photos so there is documented evidence that I indeed did go these places which I'm sure I'll appreciate later lol the most exciting part about the day was that I went into a second hand store about 500 meters from the German-Austrian border, which is separated where I am located by a river called the inn. That is why my town is called Kirchdorf am inn because it means church town on the river. So, back to the second hand store and the reason for my excitement. I walk I the store because I'm curious about the price of a bike outside but all thoughts on the bike fled my head whe I saw a pair of authentic leiderhoisen on a rack to my  left. 

Ever since arriving in Kirchdorf just about everyone on the team, no, everyone I have met here have told me that I need to buy a leiderhoisen for the beerfests that occur in all the neighboring towns, including Kirchdorf! The average leiderhoisen costs about 200 euros which made me think, "ok, not buying one of those" lol So I pulled down this leader hosen, saw that it looks like it might just fit, and asked if I could try it on for size. When my one German friend told me it was too short and tight to me to buy, and the fact that they cost about 40 euros, I immediately fell in love with The leiderhoisen. And Why go to a beer fest looking like every other Joe smow when I can be that guy with the extremely tight leiderhoisen!? A true no brainer for me. But, I may need to drop a kilo or two to really fit them but they say leather stretches the more you wear it so I'm confident They'll be looking great when its time for my towns beerfest in a month or so. In the mean time I'll just sleep in them every night lol 

Eric

Game 1- Wildcats vs. Longhorns

Coming out to the field saturday I had feelings similar to that one has when reuniting with an old friend. The Pre game gitters, taking a mental run through of the playbook, and having to pee a million times before the game because of all the water I forced down earlier in the day. I have always hated the wait before the game and always wish it were sometime in the first quarter where all the pre game nonsense and mental preparation were done and gone with.

With the worst part of the game over, the Pre game, I awaited the a results of the coin toss. I was thinking "please let defense start it off", but instead it ended up we were taking the ball first. Luckily I  was on Kick off return which meant I was still in on the first play of the game. I wanted to show everyone the type of physical player that i am and how much fun the physical aspect of the game was so i went all out on the first play. I didn't know later that this physical mentality would take me as far as getting ejected from the game later on, but more on that later.

I ended up killing the guy, not literally, on kick off return starting from the first return to the last which is one of the more pleasant experiences on can have in life in my opinion. But enough of my first play and me in general. When Dad reads this I know exactly what he's going to think. " Ok Eric, less about you and more details about the team and how they did" lol. Ill tell you what, even though i did get ejected from the game, I was on the sidelines keeping everyones head in the game and helping out in every facet that a player on the sideline was capable of doing. And i refused to talk to players who asked me about what happened with my penalty until after the game because there were far more important Things to be worrying or bitching about- like winning the game!

So, in the first quarter up Into the second half the defense started off with the offense having field positionwothin the 40 yd line of scoring about 4 to 5 times. A really crappy situation the defense was put in either because of fumbles,  punts, or the 90 yds of penalties that the team accumulated in the first half. For those of you reading who may not grasp the incredible amount that 90 yds of penalties in a half means, it is a shit load of yards lol but our defense did a great job of making the best out of the situation and I think it ended up being 27-20, us being down seven at the end of the half. Now, the way we scored our 20 points hAd a lot to do with a player we have named max messner. This running back can cut like most backs in the NFL, difference being, he's just a lot smaller. But anyway, he had two td in the first half at least one of being a fake punt which he ran the entire length of the field being stopped just short of the touchdown, only to finish it off the next play.

Now the play that i got ejected from was on a feild goal where i ran over a guy, gave him a palm to the face mask, which resulted in his helmet popping off. I can not tell you how many times i have done this in college or high school and never got penalized, albeit the oppents helmet come off previously. The ref said i grabbed the players hemet with both hands and tried to rip off the helmet purposely which is absolutely not true in any way shape or form. Factors that may have influenced the refs abrupt and irrational decision was mthe fact that our loyal but roudy fans were calling them obscenities to crude to pass along in my blog. Not to mention all the wrong calls and personal Fouls that after reviewing the film the coaches found to be just incredibly wrong and unprofessionally made. 

The refs will review the film to see how long my suspension will be does not have a good angle on the play which may be a good thing or a bad thing, but i don't know. The aarbitrary nature of their calls thus far leaves little room for me to be confident in a sound judgment to be made on my penalty. But it will either be 1,2, or a 3 game suspension. But thats enough on that topic, now back to the game.

The second half our team came out firing and started off with a 3 an out which set the tempo for the rest of the game. A couple of scores on both teams part led to the score being 34-30 with us tailing going into the last moments of the game. The weinheim longhorns, i love how this is the first time introducing the name of the opposing team lol, had the ball with about 2 minutes left and it was looking dim for a wildcats victory. How ever, our defensive back Brauni, stripped the balls and recovered it to give our offense one last chance to take the game. After a few questionable penalties that went both ways on the drive, we scored with 34 seconds left in the game.

To my shagrin, the team was celebrating like the game was over and I had to yell a little bit to remind everyone that the game was far from over. I swear I felt so useless though watching such a close game and not being able to help the team on the field. It was absolute torture. But against the odds, not my lack of presence, but the time left, the awful calls, and the fact that this was our first game and it was our opponents 4th game, my team showed heart and determination comparable to that of my senior year season in college. So we won the game and stayed out and celebrated all night, and now it's back to the grind stone to prepare for our next game against the Greifs.

Ill keep everyone posted on the final decision of my ejection. Thanks for reading.

-Eric 

To crunk or not to crunk- age is the question

If you ever visit Bavaria you'll soon find out than beer costs less than water. It is synonymous with wine being cheaper than water in Italy. For the western eye it would be an unfair and brash conclusion that those who are apart of such cultures are alcoholics or doomed to be alcoholics. It is a cultural Norm and "god given right" for a man to drink beer in Bavarian law. Granted the man part of the statement may be a bit sexist, but here it is as important to drink beer as it is to breathe air. Since I have been here I can testify that allowing teens to drink beer as young as 16, in bars, has not led this country to become a modern day soddom and gimora by any stretch of the imagination. If your still having trouble wrapping your head around this social norm just think about how sound your child would be if he or she were able to be introduced to beer at a young age with a meal under the supervision of a parent. Anyway, that was my attempt to describe and defend a beautiful and unique part of Bavarian culture that I have grown to understand and respect. 

- Eric 

Bubba on Beerfest!

 When I arrived at my first beerfest it was my welcome to Germany moment so to speak. Who ever invented the diddle, the female counterpart to the leader hoisen, should be given an award compribale to the noble piece prize, sheiza! Im at the restaurant where i get my free meals and Asked a few birls how to spell sheiza and they siqd they didnt know. WHAT!? I dont care what language you speak everyone know how to say and spell shit in their native tounge. Wait the waitress told me though, its Scheise! 

But after my far share of ogling girls outfits and seeing the leiderhoisens i was beginning to see that it was a sort of way to over sexualize, for a lack of a better word, the male and female anatomy. For guys the outfit is supposed to draw attensiom to their legs, ass, and chest, and for women it is a bit more obvious lol. No, but it was quite beautiful frokm an outsiders perspective and it really shows how deeply rooted the traditions of this culture are. A cool aside to the clothing sort of being traditional is the meshing of some modern styles in with the old. Like shoes for examples. Some guy was qearing bright blue air force one sneakers instead of the traditional leather brown shoes. I applaud him for his style.

But the when checking out the beerfest they have beer tents which are pretty self explanatory that house row and rows of benches for you and your friends sit at. We had trouble finding a table but  a table because of our large group but a man and his wife gave up their spot for us and non chalantly got up and sat down at a noter tale with strangers and immediately struck up conversation like they had always been friends. That was probably half because of the culture and the other half because of the beer!

But it was a family oriented ordeal as well being that their were youngins all over the place and there were rides scattered about like the rides you would see on the boardwalk of ocean city. These beer fests last about 5 days and whatever town it's thrown is shuts down during the festival. So if you want to find somewhere to get food or a drink your only chance is the beerfest. 

On the topic of food, they served giant pretzels, different breads, and fish. And when o say fish I mean the entire fish. Not something I'm used to seeing lol my friend alex wrapped a piece of fish In the crispy skin and told me to eat it. It is no secret I'm not a picky eater but fish skin? I was thinking dude, WTF?lol but I had it and it tasted great. 

On the topic of beer your had several different brands or types of ber to decisde from. All the beers cost about 7-8 euros but its served in what is called a Mass, a one liter mug. If you want to say cheers or something to that extent you say Prost! And when you say it you have to look the person who's mass your clanking with in the eyes followed by tapping it on the table. At first I wasnt looking ppl it eye when toasting because I was looking for the next glass to tap. I was corrected almost immediately lol it's a big effin deal. The moral and cultural significance of the whole gambit of idiosyncrasies of the German toast date back to medical times when poisoning an enemies drink was the cats meow of every homicide and conflict resolution. 

So, you look in the eyes of the person your toasting to get a feel of whether or not the bastard looks like he's hiding something. you clank the bottom, never top of the mass or mug, to mix your beer with his so if their is poison in his glass you can at least take him with you, and the table tap at the end has a similar ideology behind it. Luckily for me I didn't have to worry about these guys poisoning me because I know they altleast value me as a player on their team lol but I haas a great time, maybe to great of a time, saying Prost! Mking everyone drink with me. I definatley took a lot bigger sips than most though but taken with the history, I guess that just makes me more trusting lol

I wondered a bit and tried my luck talking with some German girls, the language barrier is both a blessing and a curse. Some girls know no enlgish, most know at least a little, and for those that do talking with an American has some sort of novelty to it. Cha-ching! Just kidding, but seriously lol I had 5-6 masses I think with some strong beer and had an absolute blast though. Jack and I agreed to tap each other on the shoulder if the other was "bringing shame upon the stars and stripes" in jacks words. I got tapped several times by jack but that became for of a dick measuring competition between us and more funny than serious. 

Both of us should have heided each others warning though because the next day was unbearable and he couldn't keep it down the night before ha! Small victory for me but a larger victory for beerfest vs. US lol I'm pumped for the next beerfest because I have an authentic leiderhoisen to show off and some experience to know that German beer is a bit stronger than american beer lol. But I had a great time and soaked up a lot of history and culture that I was oblivious too before arriving. So in short, it was totally worth the hangover.

-Eric

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Starting it off with a bang!

Where to begin...nudest spa or bovarian beerfest? today I saw things I will not be able to un see and did things i have only dreamt of doing. Let's start with my morning. I stayed over the offensive coordinators house last night, Coach Tom, and knocked back a six pack with my fellow American and team quarterback Jack Scanlon. I wake up realizing we had both ofer slept and were late meeting up with the team to go to the spa, shocker for me I know. But the team waited for us and we arrived at the spa and everyone is asking me where my bathing suit or shorts are. I proceeded to then drop my pants and snap the elastic of my boxers and reply that my swimming trunks were right here. The facility included several heated indoor pools, outdoor pools, a sauna at every turn, and more older people than the population of Florida. When we arrived on the scene I know everyone was a bit upset that today of all days was the day 20 some odd football players came to livin up the place. I was like being watched by a colony of turtles slowly turning to show their expressions of distaste lol

ok, fast forward to the nudy part. So we all go over to the side of the resort / spa where only birthday suits were allowed, but when your inside you can where a towel etc. Well. Eric didn't bring a towel so I got to be the guy that walked around naked at all times lol anyway, we get to a sauna and began a cycle of 10 min sauna, 10 min pool, for three cycles. I barely made it threw two cycles but that is because i found it more fun to be outside in the naked pool. We got yelled out for doing naked handstands, our sudden outbursts of laughter, and anything associated with fun basically. The shock of walking into a pool area with no person with in 40 years of your age and naked isn't something I desire doing again anytime soon but it was refreshing, relaxing, and funny as hell. I don't know if i felt any closer to being a cherub than i did that morning.

I doubt we will be invited back anytime soon but with the amount of hilarity that came out of the experience was totally worth it. Ill have more about beerfest tomorrow but for now i must sleep. But before i do need to say happy mothers day to my moma, grandmamas, and my own baby momma's (jk). Love you all, good night.